i literally will not tell people who are hurting me that they’re hurting me because i’m afraid of hurting them by telling them they’re hurting me it’s such a mess
what did vincent say when he lost his car in the parking lot
“where did my van gogh”
the correct pronunciation of “gogh” is “goff”, you uncultured swine
fuck gogh
Well actually, British people pronounce it “goff” and American people pronounce it “go” and unfortunately, both are wrong. Vincent Van Gogh is dutch so his name is actually pronounced “van KHOCK” so suck my gogh
(please don’t go eating/drinking random things you’ve found in your yard or park, do the research and save yourself a hospital trip; a lot of these require special preparation so please look into that before potentially harming yourself)
if teenagers are ever being mean to you just pull out any miscellaneous item you have on you at the moment and make up some bullshit term to scare them
teenagers: we are going to punch you me *pulling out spoon*: have you lot ever been Uncle Jimmied
teenagers: we are going to kick you me *pulling out an electric toothbrush*: have you all ever experienced a Norwegian Christmas…
teenagers: we are going to unlawfully take your money me *taking car keys out of my pocket*: say, have any of you ever had a Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch…….
teenagers: we are going to call you mean names me *taking Costco brand pair of socks out of my purse*: it’s been a while since i gave someone a Tropic Of Capricorn………….
teenagers: we’re violent just for the fun of it ! me *microwaving a hard-boiled egg*: you’re all about to get a Matthew Broderick Jr.
teenagers: we are going to spread rumors about you me *getting out my tube of rash cream*: don’t force me to give you a Chinese Whistling Garden
teenagers: we are about to physically assault you me *pulling out cantaloupe*: seems like you rapscallions have never heard of the Screaming Astronaut
teenagers: we are going to commit felonies me *pulling out handfuls of spaghetti*: I’m sorry you all have to experience the Kansas Turnpike …
teenagers: i am preparing to steal an automotive vehicle me *taking out a roll of dental floss*: keep this sort of behavior up and you’re going to get the Rick Astley’s Crochet
teenagers: i plan to do acts of physical hooliganism! me *takes a Bop It out of my pocket*: I don’t normally do this but I’ll enjoy giving you a North Carolina Senator G.K. Butterfield
